Time to Scrum!

So, yeah, we've been trying to do this scrum thing. I'll cut to the chase and piss off some libertarians at the same time. Basically it's like this: scrum is like libertarianism; it's a great way to to live your life, but it just doesn't scale well. The biggest problem I see is this: for a team of 3-5 a number of the practices of scrum make sense. Make a list of what needs to be done for the next 2-3 weeks. Great idea! Meet every day for 15 minutes to make sure you're on track. Ok! Well, every day seems a bit much, but I can deal. Have a planning meeting every 2-3 weeks to decide what to do? Ok, I'm board with that. We need a list right?

And so it goes.

And, you know, for 3-5 people, that's actually pretty workable.

Now, imagine if you have 35 people. With some work you might be able to get your daily updates down to 15 minutes. But then you don't have the time to elaborate on your daily updates. It means the bi to tri-weekly meetings take 2 to 3 hours, and most of that time is for parts of the project that have zero bearing on what you're working.

At least, that has been my experience so far.

On the other hand there are the scrum aficionados. The fans of scrum. The scrum fanatics. They have bought into a methodology that has promised to deliver unto them a panacea of met deliverables produced along realistic time lines with maximum efficiency and productivity that is sustainable!

Now, I have, in fact, learned a thing or two over the years, and whenever ever someone presents you with a way of conducting your business along easy to follow guidelines with guaranteed results of success you are either talking to Jesus Christ himself, or a charlatan. And, well, I rather doubt the second coming is going to manifest itself through project management.

I will also say this: most project managers are full of shit. I say that knowing that I have a number of friends who are project managers. Hell, my father is a project manager. And before they (Hi Dad!) get too mad at me, let me follow up with this: everyone is full of shit. The smart ones of us, the successful ones, the ones who are good at their jobs are aware of this fact, not just about others but about themselves. Hell, especially about themselves. A smart person will not buy into a methodology and apply it blindly to all situations. A smart person will understand what the methodology is meant to accomplish and how it is trying to do it. And when confronted with a situation where the methodology seems strained and failing, well, a smart person will adapt.

Anyway, that is my rant for today. I have more to say, but it is still brewing. Or distilling. Or some other alcohol related metaphor. Fermenting? Perhaps. I'll go to the local bar before writing my next post.